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-You know you are a CODA when you highly impressed with the outpouring of happiness from friends at a deaf event, till suddenly you realize their happiness is due to the arrival of the interpreter...all you can think of is how your working for free on your day off.
-You know you are a CODA if your brain starts to sweat, teeth itch and you nearly have a stroke from trying to explain to a deaf person why a simple thing like snow can have so many different sounds, including no sound at all.
-You know you are a CODA if you spend your evenings writing statuses about people knowing they are a CODA if...
-You know you are a CODA when your in a room of interpreters, listening to them state they became an interpreter for religious reasons, a desire to serve deaf people, they thought the language of signs was so beautiful, or some other deep exoteric reason and all you could think to say was, "ummmmm...because I had no better idea of what to do when I started".
-You know you are a CODA if you knew the sign for every swear word before you learned to pronounce them correctly.
-You know you are a CODA if it really annoys you when the deaf people you're having dinner with, all of whom take great pride in their ability to communicate with signing impaired hearing people, suddenly become totally incommunicative due to the waitress, who holds you hostage for over an hour with her inability to finger spell words with two or more letters, all the while your deaf friends laugh at the visual torture you're suffering.
-You know you are CODA if your parents ever had you stand at the door of a family friend for hours on end, all the while they have been engaged in a marathon Deafie goodbye, and suddenly your mom looks at you and sign, "we have been ready to leave, but have had to wait for you to get ready", all because, overcome with the sensation of passing out due to having had every imaginable article of cold weather clothing on the entire goodbye, you thoughtlessly unzipped your coat.
-You know you are a CODA if you remember being a part of the excitement to watch the movie "Deafula" in a Church basement on a wintery Friday night with good deaf friends and other CODA's.
-You know you are a CODA if you know the difference when your parent signs "finish" but they aren't really looking at you and when they sign "finish" while giving you the death look; forehead veins popping, slightly stooped over you, their hand a mere few inches from your face, their hand shaking from barely controlled rage.
-You know your a CODA if you are the single CODA at the table of deaf people in a fancy restaurant and your ability to play deaf is so highly refined that when one of your friends burp very loud, non of the hearing people seated around you realizes that the sudden burst of laughter from your table is because your interpreting all the rude comments being made about the burp by the hearing people.
-You know your a CODA if you get stumped while explaining something to a hearing person, searching for the correct English word, yet you can think of at least five ASL signs that would work perfectly.
-You know you are a CODA if, as a child, you felt like Jane Goodall studying chimpanzee social habits whenever you stayed at a friends house with his all NERDA family.
-You know you are a CODA when the first detention you got in school was for arguing with the teacher that she pronounced "hippopotamus" wrong since she didn't say it like your Mom.
-You know you are a CODA when you nearly wet yourself laughing due to being asked if you would like to be an interpreter when you grow up and the thought that anyone would pay you to do what your parents guilt you into doing for free is just too far fetched to wrap your mind around.
-You know you are a CODA when you stomp the floor to get attention of those near you, only to realize, wide eyed, that you have just committed a Deafism, you stomped to get the attention of hearing people.
-You know your a CODA when you see the family cat meow at your parents without using her voice, even she knows not to waste her breath with sound.
-You know you are a CODA if your deaf friends are sharing stories about experiences from speech class and you can join in and share your own speech class stories.
-You know your a CODA when you are in fourth grade and interpreting at a sudden parent teacher conference due to your inappropriate expression of deaf culture in a hearing classroom, when all you did was say to the teacher, "Wow! You got fat over the summer".
-You know you are a CODA when hearing people, you have just met, discover you are married to a deaf lady, feel free to ask you questions about your sex life.
-You know you are a CODA if your Pop has you believing at a very young age that you've been born with a birth defect since you can hear.
-You know your a CODA if you don't know the difference between the English words "you're" and "your" till you sign them to yourself.
-You know you are a CODA if while you are changing spark plugs, your Pop thinks you are the perfect ginny pig to test the horn on...and laughs uncontrollably as he explains how he needed a visual aid to insure the horn sounded, all the while he watches your eyes ricochet around your skull.
-You know you are a CODA if you were the exception to the School Board's strict rule that only parents or legal guardians could call the Attendance Office to excuse a student due to illness.
-You know you are a CODA if your phone rings, you answer and all you hear is the Final Jeopardy question. After giving the correct answer, you realize the call is from the lady who lives next door to your parents, and she is holding her phone out of her living room window, as a way to let you know your parent television is a little loud and could you please let them know?
-You know you are a CODA if you have the lead in your high school play, your parents attended the show, and after it is over, while other performers are meeting the audience, you're in the corner explaining to your parents what the play was about since no interpreter was provider.
-You know your a CODA if flipping off the wall switch, thereby causing the vacuum to shut off, provided hours of amusement... until your Mom figures out why the vacuum doesn't work and who caused it.
-You know your a CODA if one of the greatest, heart wrenching pains you have ever felt came from a deaf person who pointed at you and said, "your hearing".
-You know you are a CODA if your in a crowded room, filled with close friends you have known your whole life, and suddenly your at a total loss for a single person's name when asked to write down who all attended the event... yet, your mentally flipping through each and every person's sign name as if it where your own.
-You know your a CODA if you hear singing that makes other people cover there ears while their eyes well up with tears from the sound and get a warm, loving, home feeling wash over you and think fondly, "Mom".
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-You know you are a CODA when you highly impressed with the outpouring of happiness from friends at a deaf event, till suddenly you realize their happiness is due to the arrival of the interpreter...all you can think of is how your working for free on your day off.
-You know you are a CODA if your brain starts to sweat, teeth itch and you nearly have a stroke from trying to explain to a deaf person why a simple thing like snow can have so many different sounds, including no sound at all.
-You know you are a CODA if you spend your evenings writing statuses about people knowing they are a CODA if...
-You know you are a CODA when your in a room of interpreters, listening to them state they became an interpreter for religious reasons, a desire to serve deaf people, they thought the language of signs was so beautiful, or some other deep exoteric reason and all you could think to say was, "ummmmm...because I had no better idea of what to do when I started".
-You know you are a CODA if you knew the sign for every swear word before you learned to pronounce them correctly.
-You know you are a CODA if it really annoys you when the deaf people you're having dinner with, all of whom take great pride in their ability to communicate with signing impaired hearing people, suddenly become totally incommunicative due to the waitress, who holds you hostage for over an hour with her inability to finger spell words with two or more letters, all the while your deaf friends laugh at the visual torture you're suffering.
-You know you are CODA if your parents ever had you stand at the door of a family friend for hours on end, all the while they have been engaged in a marathon Deafie goodbye, and suddenly your mom looks at you and sign, "we have been ready to leave, but have had to wait for you to get ready", all because, overcome with the sensation of passing out due to having had every imaginable article of cold weather clothing on the entire goodbye, you thoughtlessly unzipped your coat.
-You know you are a CODA if you remember being a part of the excitement to watch the movie "Deafula" in a Church basement on a wintery Friday night with good deaf friends and other CODA's.
-You know you are a CODA if you know the difference when your parent signs "finish" but they aren't really looking at you and when they sign "finish" while giving you the death look; forehead veins popping, slightly stooped over you, their hand a mere few inches from your face, their hand shaking from barely controlled rage.
-You know your a CODA if you are the single CODA at the table of deaf people in a fancy restaurant and your ability to play deaf is so highly refined that when one of your friends burp very loud, non of the hearing people seated around you realizes that the sudden burst of laughter from your table is because your interpreting all the rude comments being made about the burp by the hearing people.
-You know your a CODA if you get stumped while explaining something to a hearing person, searching for the correct English word, yet you can think of at least five ASL signs that would work perfectly.
-You know you are a CODA if, as a child, you felt like Jane Goodall studying chimpanzee social habits whenever you stayed at a friends house with his all NERDA family.
-You know you are a CODA when the first detention you got in school was for arguing with the teacher that she pronounced "hippopotamus" wrong since she didn't say it like your Mom.
-You know you are a CODA when you nearly wet yourself laughing due to being asked if you would like to be an interpreter when you grow up and the thought that anyone would pay you to do what your parents guilt you into doing for free is just too far fetched to wrap your mind around.
-You know you are a CODA when you stomp the floor to get attention of those near you, only to realize, wide eyed, that you have just committed a Deafism, you stomped to get the attention of hearing people.
-You know your a CODA when you see the family cat meow at your parents without using her voice, even she knows not to waste her breath with sound.
-You know you are a CODA if your deaf friends are sharing stories about experiences from speech class and you can join in and share your own speech class stories.
-You know your a CODA when you are in fourth grade and interpreting at a sudden parent teacher conference due to your inappropriate expression of deaf culture in a hearing classroom, when all you did was say to the teacher, "Wow! You got fat over the summer".
-You know you are a CODA when hearing people, you have just met, discover you are married to a deaf lady, feel free to ask you questions about your sex life.
-You know you are a CODA if your Pop has you believing at a very young age that you've been born with a birth defect since you can hear.
-You know your a CODA if you don't know the difference between the English words "you're" and "your" till you sign them to yourself.
-You know you are a CODA if while you are changing spark plugs, your Pop thinks you are the perfect ginny pig to test the horn on...and laughs uncontrollably as he explains how he needed a visual aid to insure the horn sounded, all the while he watches your eyes ricochet around your skull.
-You know you are a CODA if you were the exception to the School Board's strict rule that only parents or legal guardians could call the Attendance Office to excuse a student due to illness.
-You know you are a CODA if your phone rings, you answer and all you hear is the Final Jeopardy question. After giving the correct answer, you realize the call is from the lady who lives next door to your parents, and she is holding her phone out of her living room window, as a way to let you know your parent television is a little loud and could you please let them know?
-You know you are a CODA if you have the lead in your high school play, your parents attended the show, and after it is over, while other performers are meeting the audience, you're in the corner explaining to your parents what the play was about since no interpreter was provider.
-You know your a CODA if flipping off the wall switch, thereby causing the vacuum to shut off, provided hours of amusement... until your Mom figures out why the vacuum doesn't work and who caused it.
-You know your a CODA if one of the greatest, heart wrenching pains you have ever felt came from a deaf person who pointed at you and said, "your hearing".
-You know you are a CODA if your in a crowded room, filled with close friends you have known your whole life, and suddenly your at a total loss for a single person's name when asked to write down who all attended the event... yet, your mentally flipping through each and every person's sign name as if it where your own.
-You know your a CODA if you hear singing that makes other people cover there ears while their eyes well up with tears from the sound and get a warm, loving, home feeling wash over you and think fondly, "Mom".
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Yes, yes, yes! From one CODA to another....thank you!
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